Imran Qurashi
Apr 8, 2024
Life is akin to a free trial of experiences.
Life is akin to a free trial of experiences. From birth to death, it's a journey replete with encounters that lead us to discover friends, foes, truths, lies, honesty, dishonesty, love, hate, and, last but not least, various shades of affection such as true love, pure love, materialistic love, and traditional love. However, does the absence of any single one of these experiences imply that one hasn't truly lived? No, far from it. Life encompasses much more than the aforementioned. Life embodies love and hate, friendship and enmity, honesty and deceit. It is not merely what we perceive or imagine it to be; rather, life is a profound struggle, a relentless cycle of challenges.
Life is not inherently negative; it is we who imbue it with negativity. If we perceive our lives as being deceitful, it does not reflect life's true nature, but rather our incessant pursuit of comfort amidst discomfort, which leads us to feel betrayed by life. Life isn't cruel; it is we who are dishonest with ourselves. We often fail to give our lives the attention they deserve, and it is this neglect that causes our suffering.
Expecting people to treat us as we desire only leads to suffering. Likewise, expecting life to conform to our wishes or the world to mirror our expectations results in disappointment. We are the architects of our own suffering, as we burden ourselves with countless expectations attached to people, events, and life itself.
People come, people go
No one stay, no one stay
They bring glow to flow
They carry it away
No one ever stay
No one never stay
Have you ever noticed? We suffer most from those to whom we attach our myriad expectations. Have you ever realized? The deepest wounds often come from those we love dearly, investing all our inner energy into them. And why is this so? It's because we expect from them what we offer them in return.
We may remain unaffected by the vile deeds of our enemies, for we are prepared for their hostility; we know they will never act in our favor. But a single unexpected act from those we cherish can devastate us, can shake us to our core.
Once, during a discussion on suicide with my teacher, he made a poignant observation: "85-90% of a person's suffering stems from their closest relationships." It struck a chord within me, revealing that indeed, much of our suffering arises from those closest to us. When we detach our expectations from people, life no longer appears deceitful. Life is not dishonest; it doesn't harbor hatred or breed foes. It continually seeks to offer us goodness and comfort. However, we, in our folly, often treat our lives unfairly, painting them as untrustworthy and cruel.
Rise up! Seize control of your destiny! Refrain from blaming distractions. Sharpen your focus. Guard your privacy, for it is a source of strength. Remember, tough times are temporary, but resilient souls endure. Move in silence, speaking only when necessary, and declare, "Checkmate!"